Choosing a Family for Your Baby


Have you found yourself pregnant at a time in your life when you don’t think you can give a child all he or she deserves? Because you love your unborn baby, you may be deciding to put your baby’s needs above your own desire to be a parent. Adoption could be the right choice for your baby and you.

Many women with an unplanned pregnancy choose an adoptive family for their child. There are a lot of factors to consider when making this very important choice. Some birthmothers look for adoptive families that have similar qualities to their own families, or they look for families with qualities that their own family lacked while growing up, and that they often wished for.  Some birthmothers want a family who live nearby in hopes of staying in touch over the years, while other birthmothers feel comfortable choosing a family in another state. Here are some questions for you to consider:

1. How important is it that my baby is raised in a two-parent family? For some birthmothers, not being able to provide a stable father is one of the main reasons for placing their baby for adoption. For others, a single parent placement may be suitable if the parent can completely provide for all of the child’s needs.

2. Do I want my baby to be an only child or do I want him or her to have siblings? Some birthmothers want to place their child with a family who does not have any children yet, maybe because they were the first child in their family and they want their child to be the first one too. A birthmother who had older brothers or sisters or wished for them may want her child placed with experienced parents that who already have children. You may choose a family that feels right for your child, whether or not they already have children.

3. Is religion a factor? For some birthmothers religion is very important. If you were raised in the Catholic Church, it might be important to you that your baby be raised by a family that is also Catholic. You may want your child to grow up with the same customs and traditions that you had as a child. To other birthmoms, a loving home with a family of any faith is most important.

4. Is it important to me that my baby has a stay at home parent? For some young mothers choosing adoption, this may be very important to them, as it is another thing they cannot provide for their unborn child. Some birthmothers may have longed for a stay at home mom growing up and may want that for their child while for others, a stay at home parent is not the most important factor.

5. What kind of adoption will feel comfortable to me?

Before you begin meeting with and talking to families, you should have an idea in your mind about what type of adoption you are looking for. Do you want an open adoption with the ability to visit your child at any time? Or would you prefer a scheduled visit once a year? Or do you think visits might be too tough for you to handle and that pictures and updates would simply be the best plan for you? Or do you think that anything would be too hard and that an adoption without contact with the adoptive family might work best you. Any of these options can be part of a successful adoption plan – it’s all up to you!

Searching for a family for your baby can be overwhelming. But when you find the right family, you’ll know in your heart that they are the ones for you and your child.