Choosing A Family For Your Baby
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Have you found yourself pregnant at a
time in your life when you don't think
you can give a child all he or she
deserves? Because you love your unborn
baby, you may be deciding to put your
baby's needs above your own desire to be
a parent. Adoption might be the right
choice for your baby and you.
Many women with an unplanned pregnancy
choose an adoptive family for their
child. There are a lot of factors to
consider when making this very important
choice. Some birthmothers look for
adoptive families that have similar
qualities to their own families, or they
look for families with qualities that
their own family lacked while growing
up, and that they often wished for.
Some birthmothers want a family who
live nearby in hopes of staying in touch
over the years, while other birthmothers
feel comfortable choosing a family in
another state. Here are some questions
for you to consider:
1. How important is it that my baby
is raised in a two-parent family?
For some birthmothers, not being able to
provide a stable father is one of the
main reasons for placing their baby for
adoption. For others, a single parent
placement may be suitable if the parent
can completely provide for all of the
child’s needs.
2. Do I want my baby to be an only
child or do I want him or her to have
siblings?
Some birthmothers want to place their
child with a family who does not have
any children yet, maybe because they
were the first child in their family and
they want their child to be the first
one too. A birthmother who had older
brothers or sisters or wished for them
may want her child placed with a family
that already has children. You may
choose the family that feels right for
your child, whether or not they already
have children.
3. Is religion a factor?
For some birthmothers religion is very
important. If you were raised in the
Catholic Church, it might be important
to you that your baby be raised by a
family that is also Catholic. You may
want your child to grow up with the same
customs and traditions that you had as a
child. To other birthmoms, a loving home
with a family of any faith is most
important.
4. Is it important to me that my baby
has a stay at home parent?
For some young mothers choosing
adoption, this may be very important to
them, as it is another thing they cannot
provide for their unborn child. Some
birthmothers may have longed for a stay
at home mom growing up and may want that
for their child while for others, a stay
at home parent is not the most important
factor.
5. What kind of adoption will feel
comfortable to me?
Before you begin meeting with and
talking to couples, you should have an
idea in your head about what type of
adoption you are looking for. Do you
want a very open adoption with the
ability to visit your child at any time?
Or would you prefer a scheduled visit
once a year? Or do you think visits
might be too tough for you to handle and
that pictures and updates would simply
be the best plan for you? Or do you
think that anything would be too hard
and that an adoption without contact
with the adoptive family might work best
you. Any of these options can be part of
a successful adoption plan – it’s all up
to you!
Searching for a family for your baby can
be overwhelming. But when you find the
right family, you’ll know in your heart
that they are the ones for you and your
child.
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