“Mommy and Daddy flew a very long time on a big plane to China to get their ‘Jonna baby.’ When they held me they cried happy tears. We all flew back high in the sky in the big plane to come home.”
--Jonna Rinehart, age 2 ½
While
we struggle to know where to begin to describe the incredible journey to unite
with our daughter, and at the same time how to describe it in a meaningful and
succinct way when our hearts speak volumes, our daughter has no trouble giving a
Reader’s Digest condensed book version!
We could talk about the paperwork, the process and the wait, but, like a pregnancy, when your child is delivered, all of those things that seemed monumental a few short minutes ago shrink to almost insignificance. So, although we would be happy to speak to anyone about the process before “delivery,” we’ll start our story with the arrival of our sweet daughter.
I have two biological children - a daughter, who was 19 when we adopted Jonna, and a son, who was 15 - and remembered how deeply and unconditionally I fell in love with them at first sight, For my husband, who has a wonderful relationship with our older children, this would be the first child to call him, “Daddy.” How would we feel when this little girl, conceived and borne by another, was handed to us? Simply - overwhelming love.
It’s hard to think of those first moments or describe them without tearing up. When Jonna was handed to us, I could almost feel a palpable click of souls. My prayers before we were united were that she would be healthy and that she would feel like she was coming home when she was handed to us, not being handed to strangers. Both prayers were unequivocally answered.
Jonna was brought to our hotel the evening of April 13, 2003. She fell asleep at 8 that evening and slept until six the next morning. Shortly after she awoke, we all went downstairs to the lobby to make some calls home. Some of the caregivers from the orphanage where she had lived for her first year of life arrived with entered the hotel and saw us in the lobby. Her reaction when they approached us, speaking sweetly with arms outstretched to hold her? She clung to me - her Mommy of only a few hours, but undeniably and forever, her Mommy.
She was the same in interactions with others, as well as hotel staff and others who spoke in her native dialect. She would smile at others as long as she was in our arms, but in our arms she was going to stay. Fast forward to a few weeks after we returned home - we were in a restaurant and had just finished our meal. My husband was kneeling by Jonna’s high chair picking up some food she had scattered when an older woman approached and began to talk to us, sharing that her son and his wife had also adopted a baby from China. Jonna (who had never heard English until a few weeks before) was listening intently. All of a sudden, she put her little hand on my husband’s head, looked the woman in the eye, and said, “My daddy.” Imagine our delight, shock and my husband’s overwhelming joy!
The transition for Jonna from the orphanage to us was incredibly problem-free. Not only did we bond immediately, but she was very healthy, was open to trying all kinds of foods despite the fact her diet had pretty much been limited to formula at the orphanage, was quick to smile, and slept well and through the night, taking only three nights to completely adjust to the 12-hour time difference when we returned home. She fast-forwarded through the mobility steps and went from sitting only when she first joined us to crawling by the time we left China two weeks later, and walking shortly thereafter. She was speaking a dozen words of English by the time we left China and her vocabulary quickly increased. She has been on target or exceeded the timeline for all the developmental milestones to date. Her sense of humor was evident almost immediately and is one of her most endearing qualities.
How was the transition for her older siblings and the rest of the family? Let’s just say, we predicted the reactions of our older daughter and son incorrectly. We thought our daughter would melt the first time she saw Jonna and that our son would be a bit standoffish and aloof. In actuality, our son fell in love immediately and one of our added joys is watching his sweet interactions with her. It also certainly doesn’t hurt when you’re a 15-year-old adolescent with all the associated angst to have someone who unconditionally idolizes you! When “Ry Ry” enters the room, Jonna’s face lights up and she dashes over to wrap her little arms around his leg and wait to be picked up.
Our daughter took a little more time to fall in love and to adjust to not being the only “princess” in the house. We think being away at college and only coming home every few weeks also contributed to the delayed bonding. Although it took a little longer, there is no doubt that she now adores her little sister and that the feeling is definitely mutual!
For the record, we also predicted the reaction of our two cats incorrectly. We expected the large fearless kitty, “Oreo,” to want to play with her right away, but she’s still not sure after a year-and-a-half what she thinks of Jonna and generally avoids her. On the other hand, Beauty, our other cat, who is afraid of her own shadow and who we affectionately refer to as “the skittery kitty,” lets Jonna pet her and even carry her!
Other extended family? My father-in-law had to adjust to many losses in the couple of years immediately preceding Jonna joining our family: retirement, a massive stroke, a massive heart attack, and the death of his wonderful wife. I don’t think there has been a time since we brought Jonna home and she has spent time with him (at least twice a week) that he hasn’t commented on how special she is, how much joy she has added to his life, and how blessed and lucky we all are. Without a doubt, she has also melted the hearts of her other grandparents, her aunts and uncles, her cousins, and the many friends with whom our family is blessed.
If we had it to do over again, would we? Absolutely. We believe Jonna was as destined to be our daughter as our older children were. God led us to one another and united us as a family. She has added so much love, joy and laughter to our lives and we absolutely can’t imagine life without her in it.
Thank you Cradle of Hope!!
Cheri and John Rinehart
Random thoughts:
Savor every moment of the “freedom” your coordinator gives you - you’ll be home with all the resulting demands and distractions before you know it.
Disposable bibs and an inflatable baby bathtub were the two things we were most grateful we packed.
Avoid ordering American-like food in China - you can have that any time.
That said, caution is advised - after you have Chinese food in China, the food served in U.S. Chinese restaurants will always seem inferior.
If there is any way you can, go for the optional tour week in Beijing the week prior to the adoption. It gives you an opportunity to see and enhance your appreciation of the rich history of the country, spend time as a couple before your lives are forever changed and adjust to the time difference before you’re united with your child.