Family Stories

"Our Twenty-Two Pound Diamond"
A Daily Journal of Our Journey to Moscow, Russia

The waiting is finally over! Chris and I are sitting in the Airport departure lounge for our trip to Moscow. The adoption process we began ten months ago has finally reached the travel stage. We individually came to our decision to adopt at about the same time. One cold day in late January, Chris asked me what I thought about looking into an international adoption. Without hesitation, I said, "Let’s do it." Chris never does anything without careful analysis and planning. She had not only thought about, she had scheduled us for an introduction meeting for new parents at the Cradle of Hope Adoption Center in Silver Spring, Maryland.

WE MADE IT! We arrived at Terminal 2 of the Sheremetyevo Airport in Moscow on time. Two hours later we emerged from Customs to literally thousands of welcomers. We spotted a sign with MANNING clearly marked in blue. The fellow carrying the sign was obviously looking for us. His name was Andre. Andre quickly looked for help in the person of Helen, our interpreter, who was guarding the other exit from customs. Helen complained that they had just installed a checkpoint on the roads in/out of the airport. The word she repeatedly used was tourniquet. This made traffic a nightmare. We’re going to meet our new son in the morning -- and nothing else mattered.

The dawn broke earlier than expected. The room phone rang with Helen and Andre in the lobby. This was particularly embarrassing since we had promised them we’d be in the lobby when they arrived so they wouldn’t have to park the car. Not only were we not downstairs, I hadn’t even taken a shower yet! With Andre’s local driving skills, we arrived at the orphanage ten minutes before we were expected. Ten minutes later, we were falling in love with a fair-haired, blue-eyed, perfect little two-year old (as yet to be named) "Will". Our first impression of Will is that he is an analyzer. He studies everything around him in depth. His darting eyes miss no movement in the room. I can say without reservation that all our prayers for a successful opening day were answered when Will laid his cheek along side Chris’ cheek.

The orphanage staff was exceptional. Love abounds around Orphanage #12. The director, Marianna, just celebrated her 50^th year with this orphanage. She started at the age of 18. It was so clearly obvious that she has dedicated her life to these kids. A professional in every way, she greeted us with a smile and a stethoscope. When the boys (our friends were also meeting their son at the same time) went off to lunch, Marianna had us all sit around a table for a question and answer session. With her was another resident doctor. They briefed us on both boys’ health and advised us of their diets. After hearing so much about unflavored farmer’s cheese and colorless, tasteless, white dough, I wondered just what Will would do at his first Thanksgiving dinner in a few weeks.

The mood was serious and their care for the children was obvious and sincere. Following the round table discussion, they let us on a tour of their gym facilities. After a couple minutes in that surrounding, we abandoned our former mental picture of babies piled into cribs with no chance of parole. These facilities were beautiful and (except for the building) brand new. There were water beds, jungle gyms, parallel bars, balance beams, and other physical fitness apparatus. All in all, this was an eye opening day!

Somehow, our court hearing was advanced by two days. This is the day we were supposed to be nervous about. By comparison, yesterday’s meeting with Will for the first time towered in importance. We visited Will for about forty-five minutes before taking a ride across town to the courthouse. Marianna – the Orphanage Director, rode in our car. The ride was a jovial one. Marianna was humored and enthusiastic at my rudimentary level or tourist oriented Russian. We showed her pictures of our home in Pennsylvania. She asked about our families and life in the town we lived. All was informal and fun. Once inside the courtroom, everything did take on a solemn air. Attending was a judge, a prosecutor, a court secretary, our Attorney, a representative from the Department of Education, Marianna (the Orphanage Director), our interpreter Helen, Chris, and myself. All in all, that made eight women and me. The orphanage director, Marianna, indicated her approval of us as parents for "her child." At the end of the questioning of myself, Chris, and the representatives for the baby, the Judge left the room to make her decision.

It was interesting to note that the only decoration on the walls of this drab, colorless courtroom which hears adoption cases from nearly one hundred international adoption agencies worldwide, was the last three year’s worth of pictorial calendars from ours – The Cradle of Hope Adoption Center of Silver Spring, MD. Not only did they apparently like us, they obviously liked our agency. We were not concerned a bit about their decision.

When the Judge returned, she read a very long decision before our interpreter was allowed to inform us that it went in our favor. Will became our child at that very moment!

We invited the entire entourage out to lunch. Unfortunately, only Helen and Andre were able to attend. We waited for our friends to finish with their hearing. Not surprisingly, the decision went in their favor also. Each case lasts about thirty minutes.

Every day we visit Will, we get the same reaction. He is looking happy reaching skyward for the nurse’s hand while bouncing down the hall. Then, he sees us. His face literally turns inside out, the waterworks turn on full tilt, and poor little guy appears to be headed toward the end of his world. I have thus far manned the video camera while Chris, the true sport in all of this, tries to distract Will from his misery. She is quite good at it. Once she has him calmed down (usually about 15-20 minutes), I get to move in to show him some more charm. During this particular visit, we saw a lot of personality displayed. One of the local toys was a xylophone. He loved hitting the keys with the striker. In fact, he loved hitting the couch, bench, beach ball, and anything in sight. What’s cool about him is that when you take it away from him, he doesn’t freak out. He just moves on. Chris gave him a little tickle and he laughed the cutest little laugh we ever heard. This is one lovable little boy. Our visit of one hour was the best yet.

Prior to the late afternoon visit, Helen and Andre took us on a tour of the Kremlin. Not having ever been one to enjoy "touristy" activities, this place has taken me by surprise. It is magnificent. I can only imagine Communist times here. Right now, things are changing. Young professionals walk the streets in their business attire with cell phones. The downtown skyline is framed with beautiful architecture. Cathedrals, and theatres are everywhere. In the center of town, the streets are so wide and full of fast cars, that pedestrian underpasses are used to cross the street. In these underpasses, one can find markets shops, and musicians with their cases out for donations. In the center of the Kremlin, there is a giant bell on display. One side of the bell is missing as if a huge bite had been taken out of it. I jokingly told Helen that Chris had bumped and broken it. In a very straight manner, she told me that the bell was broken long before Chris had come to Moscow so she couldn’t be blamed. Then she laughed. I think she is getting it! We’re not all business here.

We stopped along the Myerski Plaza for a Pepsi ( ЛЕЛСИ in Russian). This is a beautiful little park along the outside of the Kremlin walls. Helen is very good about her history of Moscow. I called her a great tour guide and she nearly slapped me. It turns out that there are professional (English speaking) tour guides here who make a living at it. Without a license, Helen could be sent to a Siberian Concentration camp for tour guiding.

Helen and Andre picked us up at 1:00 PM today. Since we weren’t scheduled at the orphanage until 5:00 o’clock, we decided to go shopping. We visited Old Arbat Street. This is a shopping district set aside for pedestrians only. It is here that all the English speaking merchants of Moscow work. The street is full of kiosks. The shops along the streets are generally state owned and locally run. They have fixed prices. Bargaining is the rule, however, in the street. We left that little trip with bags full of dolls, table cloths, and minerska dolls. I have a feeling we made the day of many merchants along Old Arbat Street today.

Our visit with Will started as all others with a crying scene as soon as he saw us. Chris worked her magic and in a short time had him running into her arms for protection when our friend approached. "You might be a stranger, but HE, now HE is a stranger stranger! Mind if I seek refuge in your arms?" This is the message that came out clearly in his big blue eyes. After a little while, we got him alone and relaxed. Then we broke out the cookies. Watching him eat these little grocery store sweets was more of a treat to us than they were to him. He would eat what we gave him very slowly. As the piece of cookie got smaller, he took smaller and smaller bites. This would last until we showed him another. Immediately, he would shove the rest of his dwindling cookie into his mouth and grab for the next one. Our friends gave us a silly red rabbit from a local toy store. We offered it to him and saw love at first sight. He wouldn’t let it out of his arms. This little red rabbit might be the first toy he ever got that didn’t come from an inside toy box. It was exclusively his and he somehow knew it. "Maybe these folks are OK!" had to be his thoughts at the moment.

Tomorrow, we will see him for the last time for ten days. We are headed back to the States for a week of work. What a week that will be! We’re not looking forward to that. As it turns out, the Moscow adoption procedure requires a ten-day wait period from the court hearing to the actual pickup of the child. This allows them time to prepare the paperwork for exiting the country. At this time, they also lock up and possibly destroy all internal records of the orphan. They are protecting both the birth mother and the child from reaching each other some day in the future. This is so closed an adoption, that we will be listed as birth parents on the new Birth Certificate. The court gave us the option of changing both the birth date and location if we so chose. We didn’t. Now we’ll be listed as birth parents of a child born in Russia two years before we ever visited the place. Talk about modern miracles!

Helen and Andre picked us up at 11:30 and we visited the Armory next door to the Kremlin. Here all the treasures of Russian history can be found. We learned of Ivan the Terrible and his many sons. We saw the sled that pulled Catherine the Great from St. Petersburg to Moscow in three days. This city has more history and treasure than any place I’ve ever been. I recall visiting Rome as a teenager. I’m sure Moscow has Rome beat for museums, galleries, history, and culture. Did I mention traffic? It probably has all other cities beat there, too. We were very happy to have Andre. He was an incredible driver. If we weren’t first in line at a red light, he would simply pass everyone who was already stopped and pull in at the front of the pack. We had lunch at a modern restaurant. Chris and I had chicken cooked on the grill. Helen talked me into a Baltica Beer since she wanted one with her lunch. The beer and potatoes were good. Our dog would have loved the chicken!

Our visit with "Will-Antos’ca" (sounds like Antoeschka) was great. He cried as usual but, this time, not for long. We decided to start calling him "Will-Antos’ca" as a transition from his Russian nickname "Antos’ca" to his new name, Will. While taking a walk on the Orphanage grounds, we noticed that Will seemed to know more Russian than we expected. Chris held Will about ten feet from me as I held out my arms and said, "eDU’ so DA!" (Russian for "Come Here!") He took four or five running steps with his arms open wide, straight at me. Before I knew it, I was hoisting him in the air with both of us laughing. Talk about experiencing your baby’s first steps. This was a moment I’ll never forget.

Tomorrow is the start of a very long week. Chris & I decided beforehand that if the court demanded a ten-day waiting period, we’d return home during the wait. This is done with heart in hand. We have grown very much attached to this little boy even though he hasn’t shown the same attachment to us. I guess we put faith in God, Cradle of Hope, and Orphanage #12 until we return.

It has been difficult to be away from Will all week. His quiet little laugh has rung in my memory. The big question is: how much laughter versus crying will there be when we take him away from the only home he’s ever known?

We arrived at our hotel after another long trip. Prior to leaving the airport, we met a very nice couple from Columbia, SC. They were heading out to a regional orphanage about four hours by train from Moscow. They wished us luck, and we them. Our hotel is located very near Red Square and the Kremlin. That put us also near the "GUM" (sounds like Goom). This is a shopping mall I refer to as ‘Tyson’s Corner East’.

Our visit with Will was a very long hour. As expected, we found that we missed him more than he missed us. He seemed more than a little saddened by our return. I guess he figured he’d gotten rid of us ten days ago. With the proper display of love and caring, plus some Ritz crackers and a rocking horse, he mellowed a bit and at least became tolerant of us. He is a beautiful little boy and we thank God for watching over him during our absence.

After seeing Will, we were driven to the Circus for the 7:00 PM opening. I say driven because this new driver is unlike the Andre of the first trip. Andre #1 enjoyed our company and would have certainly joined us at the circus. This new Andre (Andre #2) is kind of slow to warm up to us. It seems he’d rather sit in the car than join us. I guess he serves the purpose; but it sure was nice with a driver who laughed, and said, "No problem!" to anything I suggested. The circus was tremendous. They had acrobats, clowns, tigers, lions, monkeys, and elephants. I seemed to enjoy the circus more than Chris and Helen did. I was still waiting for some trapeze artistry when everyone was leaving.

Three days in one entry! It’s been too busy to catch up daily. Tuesday was a very long day. We drove out to the eastern edge of Moscow. It was here that Will’s birth mother turned him in for adoption. In this region of Moscow, the look changed. No longer were there neat, well-cared for parks and trees. Apartments and buildings took on a shabbier look than what we saw downtown and toward the Southwest. We signed many papers and waited in lines all day. Now, we were ready to take Will out of the Orphanage.

On Wednesday, we set out for the Orphanage a little after 9:00. Our first stop was to a grocery store where we bought a cake and some champagne. When we arrived at the Orphanage, we went straight to the receiving room. Chris presented Will’s new clothes to the nurse to have him clothed upstairs. In just a few minutes, Will was presented to us. He cried, but only briefly. It was almost as if he knew he was leaving this place forever. Our friends also arrived for their little boy, Sergei. In a brief ceremony, we cut the cake, popped the cork, were toasted and were shuffled out the door. Mariana, the Orphanage Director, told us that she was not "required" to say so by some pre-orchestrated ritual, but that she genuinely liked all four of us. She was extremely happy that her two boys were starting a new life. A few (all right more than a few) hugs, tears, and kisses were exchanged, and we were out the door. As has been the case for the entire two trips so far, our next move was right on schedule. We were off to the physical exam doctor. This part was largely a ritual.

At the doctor’s office, we ran into our friends from South Carolina. Their little boy came from an Orphanage outside of Moscow. We also bumped into them again the next day at the American Embassy – along with many other adoptive couples. So far, Will has been doing great! His only hints of unhappiness are at bath and bed time. He hates water and cribs. We can deal with his hatred of cribs. A bed is what we have planned for him at home. Water, he will have to learn to deal with. Not only will he have to be bathed once in awhile, all of our summer activities revolve around lakes, pools, and oceans. We were surprised to see that he had a genuine terror (more than fear) of being in the bathtub – something he’s obviously never done before.

Tonight I am watching Chris with Will in her arms. Both are asleep. We have struck gold in Moscow and now we’re taking twenty-two pounds (official Dr. Boris weigh in) of it home with us. Of course the way he wolfed down an entire lasagna at our Red Square dinner, it could be more than twenty-two pounds by the time we leave.

Winter is settling in here in Moscow. While no snow was flying, it is forecast for next week. Grey, cold, and windy was the order of the day today. In our efforts toward tourism today, we made a mistake. We forgot we are parents now. After picking up Will’s Russian passport at noon today, instead of going to lunch like we should have for Will’s sake, we went to the new WWII Memorial Museum instead. While this is a beautiful museum I was glad to see, missing both his lunch and nap was something we found we’d regret. We paid for the unannounced schedule change with one cranky boy from about 3 o’clock on. He wasn’t unbearable, but he did let us know that we are not to stray from his schedule or he’ll be less than the angel we’ve come to know and love. Just wait ‘til the little fellow gets on an eleven-hour flight tomorrow at lunchtime, then arrives in a new land whose daylight is shifted by eight hours!

The WWII Memorial we visited today is a site not to be missed. Like all the museums we visited here in Moscow, they’ve taken art and decorations to a level never approached by American Museums. This particular museum has no equal in the United States. The dioramas (panoramic vistas) are so life-like you can feel the pain of this war. One central dome has bronze raised names and home towns of each of the twenty million lives lost in the war. By far, in a city of memorable sights, this Museum was the best.

This is significant. After the whirlwind of the past three weeks, we traveled home via Delta Flight 31. It is nicknamed the "baby run." That’s because it goes directly to New York and leaves early afternoon. Will was pretty good on this very long trip home. This was not the case back in Terminal 2 of the Sheremetyevo airport. He screamed loud enough to stir Lenin in his tomb back in Red Square. I guess it was his way to bid farewell to his native homeland.

A most delightful event happened in Andre’s car on the way to the airport. During our sparkling conversation, I was telling Andre (through Helen the translator), that we had discovered gold in Moscow and were taking home twenty-two pounds of it home with us. She translated back his reply, "You are wrong," he corrected, "you are taking home a twenty-two pound diamond. You know I think he had something there.

This story is not over by any means. In fact, it is just beginning. Before we venture into our new life with Will stateside, we have a few acknowledgments to make. We thank the wonderful people of Moscow, our translators, drivers, and Cradle of Hope staff on both sides of the Atlantic. We thank Delta Airlines for all the safe traveling we did in a very short time. We never lost a single bag, and arrived home at the end of it all two hours ahead of schedule. Last and certainly most, we thank Will’s birth mother for blessing us with the most precious gift any two people ever received. We love our baby boy and can’t imagine life without him.

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