Family Stories

Arthur and Judy Harrow

Part II
ILANA'S ROUNDUP

Written, Produced, and Directed by Arthur, Judy, and Hannah Harrow

It took some time and a great deal of thought before we began the process of a second adoption. We had finally adjusted to having another person in the family, our lives had settled down, and it was not an easy decision to start something which would change the balance we had found. Without going into detail, let me just say that after a great deal of soul-searching we came down on the side of a second child.

The paperwork seemed easier the second time around, as we knew the rules and had several left-over original documents from round one. Our home study social worker from Hannah's adoption had moved on, and we got to know the new worker fairly quickly.

Before we knew it, the papers were in, and the countdown began. Unfortunately the time to referral had expanded to a year, but at least this gave us more time to save money and plan travel. One of our circle of friends, a travel agent, suggested the American Express Platinum card, which gets a fifty percent discount on business class on selected carriers; for $300 this seemed a good deal, especially considering we would be taking a toddler with us, and both the extra seat space and the access to lounges would be helpful.

One of the obvious differences with the second adoption was the presence of Hannah as an interested third party. We knew that this would have a significant effect on her and we started early talking to her about her new sister, getting her used to the idea and working on her need to help take care of her. Forethought is prudent, as we shall see anon.

We finally got started on our trip on January 30th. The first leg of our journey took us to San Francisco. There is an excellent picture of Hannah sound asleep sprawled on my winter coat in the airport. This was our first lesson in travel with a toddler. We had cleverly checked most of our bags through to Beijing, but had enough that the addition of a sleeping toddler made things very interesting. We eventually managed to make it to the Asiana lounge, where we had a little rest and some refreshments. Hannah woke up a bit then, and was fairly well behaved. We got on the plane, and once again [as we had the first trip] were thankful for business class. Asiana is a very nice airline, and the seats were comfortable with decent food and a nice TV set; Hannah enjoyed the ride and did very well.

Moderately early the next day we pulled into the Seoul Airport, and camped out in the lounge again for our four hour layover. While the lounge was very nice, with high-speed internet access to send an update home, and with nice shower and shave facilities, the food was limited to soda and cookies; nothing more substantial. Oh well. A three hour flight later, and we had arrived in Beijing. Our coordinator met us at the airport and we were whisked off to the Beijing Peace Hotel, just a 10 minute walk from major malls and 20 minutes from Tiannamen Square and the Forbidden City. That afternoon, we got re-acquainted with Beijing, walking to the local store, napping a little, and getting over the jetlag.

We knew we couldn't do any leisurely sightseeing like the first time, but we had arranged some touring of Beijing with our adoption group after we had recovered from jetlag. The first day we just walked around, and went down to Tiannamen Square. Friday night we took a taxi over to the office building where the Jewish group had dinner and services; we met some people we had seen last time, and had a good time.

The following day another couple had arrived, and we went on a tour of the Hutong area, old alleys and traditional homes. We rode in rickshaws [pulled by bicycles, which made me feel less of an imperialist tourist], let Hannah have her first experience with a traditional Chinese bathroom [''I'II use my pull-ups, thank you very much"] and had a delicious 8 course meal in a private home [dumplings to die for]. That evening we went to a performance of an absolutely amazing acrobatic troupe.

Next day, the Beijing zoo. We had been told that this was not an animal friendly zoo, but mostly it seemed dirty rather than cruel; the tigers and bears in particular had very large enclosures. It was snowing so we didn't stay long, but Hannah did get to see the panda bears. That evening was a night at the Opera, which was interesting but difficult to follow.

The last couple had arrived by that point, and we had a group lunch at a local restaurant. We then all took taxi to the Square, and walked across it in the snow to the Forbidden City. Judy and I were more able to appreciate it this time, as we were caught up on our sleep, but with the snow it was very slick and we had a couple of scares, especially with Hannah in the backpack. She slept through most of this.

Next day word came that the road to the Wall was open; there had been some concern the previous day due to snow. We took bus to the base of the touristy area, then walked up the steep and slightly slick path to the skycar. This was definitely a better way to get to the top than at Badaling, where Judy and I had tried to climb the entire height in 1998 and only made it part-way. Due to the snow, we had the entire wall to ourselves, and it was awesome. I was able to finally look north to Mongolia, stamp my foot, and declare that this would keep the dog out. I slipped once up there, and had a real fun time coming down the slope after we rode down. Note to self: wear appropriately soled shoes in snow next time. Hannah has now slept through 2 of the major walls in the world; that backpack is a marvelous device.

That afternoon we flew to Wuhan and checked into the Tian An Holiday Inn, and got ready for the big day. Wuhan is not a tourist city; our guidebook describes it mostly, as a place to go when in transit to somewhere else. Our hotel was in an interesting commercial area which was quite a change from when we were in china three years back; lots of department stores, shops, and fast-food shops [KFC, McDonalds, and Pizza Hut]. Fortunately there was an open market two blocks away, and a lot of street food vendors so we knew we weren't still in the West.

The following morning, a day of rain, we boarded a bus and drove over the Yangtze to the municipal hall. We weren't entirely sure what to expect; certainly a rapid hand over of children in a parking lot like last time wasn't on the agenda this time. After waiting a while, and hearing babies in the hall for a while, a group of women came in carrying three babies. That's when the chaos was unleashed.

All the children were handed over; all of them began crying. These girls were all around 13 months and appeared to have some separation issues already. I am proud and pleased to say that Hannah immediately began putting cheerios in little Ilana's mouth, which produced momentary calmness; this, however, did not last. The other two little girls seemed to calm down sooner; Ilana did not. We eventually got through the initial paperwork and headed back to the hotel.

At this point, things took a much different course than in 1998. Ilana was inconsolable and crying continuously. She cried when we undressed her, she cried when we bathed her, she cried when we attempted to feed her. We didn't dare take her far from the room [although she lowered the volume a little when going in the hallway] so room service was a frequent call. Sleep was not easy either, as this is the point where Hannah began to react to things by becoming very active up until midnight; she would turn the lights in the room on and off, she would turn the TV on and off, and tempers became very thin indeed.

We did go to a local store where we bought shoes and some food; this was a very chaotic experience and we found it easier the next few days to walk to a local department store [which had a grocery in the basement]. We made it to a local park [walking in the air in backpacks put both girls in a better mood].

Eventually the week passed; we went to some museums and visited the Yellow Pagoda complex. This is a beautiful structure overlooking the Yangtze, some seven stories high. I managed to make it to the top but that darned acrophobia made it impossible for me to walk around the tower and see all the vista; fortunately Judy took lots of pictures with her new camera. That, by the way, was an interesting side story. The old camera died shortly after we received Ilana, with the pictures inside. Apparently fruit juice got on it. We went to the local store and purchased a decent camera, actually nicer than the old one, with a recognizable brand in case we needed repairs here at home. The film was eventually salvaged, and we got a neat souvenir.

We returned after the week had passed to the municipal building and finished the paperwork. You would think we had learned from last time, but again we were caught unprepared as we "took the oath" and had minimal video documentation. That's okay, because the memories are definitely there. That afternoon we flew to Guangzhou and the White Swan.

Not much has changed there except for the addition of a children's play room on the ground floor; this has a "wrestling ring" play area where children can actually be left unwatched. A godsend. The water store across the street is now a 7-11 and the "pick your critter and we'll cook it for you" restaurant up the street is gone. The tourist shops on the street leading to town are mostly with different names, but are the same stores where you can purchase touristy stuff like silk pajamas, Chinese hats, cloisonne, jade, and the like. We loaded up big time.

The photo sessions and the medical visit were uneventful; I recognized the doctor who had examined Hannah three years ago and attempted to thank him; fortunately he didn't get flustered over this [lord knows how many kids a day over the intervening three years]. We also took the afternoon to walk to the market [now in a new building] but all we saw was the herbal medicines. Apparently the infamous food stalls with the extremely fresh material was somewhere else.

Hannah had her third birthday at the White Swan. We arranged a cake at the Swan' s bakery and had coffee and tea delivered to the play room. The coordinator had brought papers for us to work on while the children were secure; all the other couples had thoughtfully bought little presents for Hannah who was quite the little lady, opening presents and thanking people.

This time around we had no typos on our paperwork and the interview at the consulate went smoothly. The next morning our papers were delivered and after some misty-eyed photo sessions we transferred to the Guangzhou airport. We made our farewells to the coordinators, had a little lunch with our fellow travelers, and flew to Hong Kong.

Now those who read our previous journal will recall that we splurged on a night at the Regent, complete with limo and everything. This time we expected to get in late, and didn't see any point in going into town. We had arranged to stay at the Airport Regal, which I had envisioned as a Motel 6 kinda thing just off the airport grounds. Wrongo.

We wheeled our luggage cart down the corridor marked "to hotel." Soon we saw a building through the windows marked "Regal." At the end of the corridor was a horde of bellhops waiting to take our bags. We registered in the middle of a sumptuous lobby, and after finding our way through a maze of neon-lit corridors into our very nice room with fancy bath, intriguing high-tech TV, and comfortable bed. We made our way down to one of seven restaurants for a nice dinner [Japanese/Chinese] and hit the sack. We awoke at about 5 [TV comes on and gradually gets louder until you get up and kill it], went down to the restaurant for dim-sun breakfast [last in Asia and very good] and eventually made our way to our plane.

The Asiana lounge was nothing fancy, but did have some solid snacks like sandwiches [actually nicer than in the hub lounge in Seoul]. The flight to Seoul was marked mostly by Ilana's yelling, which I'm sure endeared us to the business travelers. We had a six hour layover in Korea, which we prepped for by showering, snacking, and checking our email. I might add that there had been a glitch in the cable running to China which made all our attempts to access our email on our own accounts painfully slow; Seoul was on a different circuit and the high-speed connections in the lounge were like being home again.

The trans-pacific flight was a bit of a nightmare. Ilana was screaming again, and didn't start sleeping until about the fifth hour of the seven hour flight. When she quieted down and we tried to catch a few z's, Hannah got sick with significant vomiting followed by profuse, leaky output from the other end. We wiped as much down as we could, but the remainder of the flight was less than comfortable from an aromatic point of view, and again we had won the hearts and minds of our fellow business-class travelers.

We eventually pulled into Seattle, where we found that the new laws implementing citizenship did not help us make it through passport control any faster with Ilana's entrance visa. We slowly worked our way through the airport, having finally learned the joy of the luggage cart. The van from our hotel met us, and we were off to the Hawthorne Suites.

We were overjoyed to learn that the hotel had a laundry [as much of Judy's clothes had been in the direct path of Hannah's illness on the plane. The hotel gladly sold us some laundry detergent and we got started cleaning up. We also walked up the street to a burger place [run by a Japanese family who were very impressed with Hannah and Ilana] and had some honest-to-got burgers. Bad for us, but welcome home.

Jet lag and the time difference took it's toll~ after dinner we tried to stay up as late as we could, but crashed before ten. We of course awoke around 2 and killed time until it was time to go down for the free breakfast and a ride to the airport.

Rights back to Richmond were not as bad as the transpacific route, and we made our connection in Philadelphia without too much pain. The girls were a little cranky but not too bad, and this time I had the video running as we left the plane. This was the big moment, and we knew that some friends and family would be waiting for us.

Surprise. Leaving the gate, we began to see a crowd. Turned out to be what looked like over fifty people, most from our FCC group, but also some friends who knew when we were coming in. Bags were taken care of, and the girls were roundly greeted by huge numbers of Chinese girls and their families. An absolutely wonderful way to come home.

So what can I say at the end? It was a different experience, in some ways a harder experience, but we would not have traded it for anything in the world. Especially when I look in Ilana 's eyes and see that mischievous glint she has developed now that she is acclimated, or when I watch Hannah share juice with her or teach her how to playa game. Any doubts I had when we began this long process of bringing home another daughter have been superceded by the joy that has grown out of it.

And again, as before, I salute those who have the strength and courage to embark on this journey, especially those who don't have the benefit of a previous experience, and still are not scared off. For those of you who read this, I wish you strength, courage, and joy.

Part I
A New Hope

This story begins long ago, and if told properly would take years. For now, let's skip the bad times, the visits to the emergency room, the injections, the winter of our discontent, and the climb up foothills of paperwork and begin with August 25, 1998.

Having watched the e-mail list, and seeing the delay between paper submission and referral slowly diminish, we were on pins and needles. But nothing could have prepared me for finding the message on my voice mail to call Lauren, our social worker. She had a note of glee in her voice, and I anticipated the good news. I believe I said something about "Holy Shoot" or words to that effect, and trying to get the medical statistics written down with a violently shaking hand. Judy was not at home, but she must have gotten the message via car phone, because she called me at the office and screamed.

Things were a bit shaky for a few days, as the medical information was not consistent with the laws of physics or biology as I understood them, suggesting a child with a tiny head. After hours of phone calls and a visit to our local pediatrician with the referral photo, we were reassured and told the folks at Cradle of Hope it was a go.

Events moved rapidly from there...What to bring? What could we get there? Eventually we decided to take diapers and wipes, and we finally found a bottle system to take. We threw caution to the winds and assumed we could find formula and baby food in China.

The biggest headache was the travel plans. We had enough frequent flyer miles to get us to Tokyo and back business/first; we had to make additional arrangements to get to and from China. As the schedules worked out, we would have to spend one night in Hong Kong resting before the big flight back home.

Eventually, the tours were arranged, the bags were packed, the cameras were ready, and we were ready to go. For the record, it was October 13, 1998.

If it's Tuesday, this must be Beijing. The driver picked us up at 4:30 AM to catch a 6 o'clock flight. We had no problems getting to the coast [Richmond to Philadelphia to Seattle] and the first class seats were comfortable with excellent food and service. The Seattle-Tacoma airport has the worst signage I have ever seen; we took longer to make our connection than we had thought, and when we arrived at the American desk for the Tokyo flight, it had been canceled [apparently an engine had gone sour]. The next flight would not connect with our United flight to Beijing, which was the last flight of the day. After some panic, we managed to get put onto a United flight [which would make the connection easier]. Business class was not bad, but the movies were only so-so. Narita airport in Tokyo was a blur, and I won't comment further at this time. Eventually we arrived in Beijing where a representative of our tour company, Steve, was waiting for us.  We were whisked away to the hotel Kempinski [if one can be whisked in Chinese traffic] which was conveniently located across the street from an A & W and a Subway [no we didn't; not yet anyway]. Next morning breakfast in the hotel [with dim sum, which I had been dreaming of since before trip planning].

Our tour the next day took us through Tiannamen Square [our guide was silent on the history, saying he had been too young at the time to pay attention]. The Forbidden City took hours to get through, even though we were just walking up the north/south axis. We were then taken to the Summer Palace, after an interesting meal at a tourist restaurant.

To digress for a moment, let me say that I didn't mind the tourist restaurants, and found some of the food very interesting. However the meal is always picked out for you, and when at least one of you is trying to stick to a limited diet, it can get problematic. My job was to identify for Judy what was pork products and shellfish, and what was not so she could eat. My success rate was not perfect, but we got by.

In any case, we finished the afternoon at the Temple of Heaven, and I will go on record as calling this the single most impressive tour destination I have ever visited. When you travel, try to get to Beijing.  If you do, make sure you see the Temple complex, which is not to be believed. And take LOTS of film.

That evening we ate at the hotel and sacked out early. The next morning was the Ming Tombs [interesting to see] and the Wall. This is usually the goal of every traveler to China, and we were no different. In fact, one of the reasons we started working with a personal trainer months ago was to be ready for the Wall. Nice try.

Imagine driving up the freeway and as you go around a curve, you are suddenly confronted with the Wall. Out of nowhere, it's there. What's never pointed out in any book or brochure is that the Wall runs along the mountain crest, and the freeway is at the mountain base. There is a stretch of stair, about 700 meters, which runs up a 40 degree slope with variable height steps. That brings you to the first platform. There are two more sets of steps to the top, where the main Wall runs. I made it to the first platform, Judy made it to the second. I still consider this a major accomplishment, and I fulfilled my vow to stand on the Wall, look to the north, and declare "that oughta keep that dog out."

Friday night, we walked a couple of blocks down the road to a business club where the local Jewish community had Friday night services and dinner. The people were very friendly and relaxed, and made us feel quite at home. The featured speaker that evening was a woman who had written books on colonial architecture in China, and had a special interest in Jewish architecture, especially in Shanghai. We later purchased her book at the Shanghai Museum.

A River Runs Through It

Now over jet lag, and recovering from some bronchitis, we caught a plane to Xian. The flight was smooth, the stewardesses [and I use that term on purpose] eager to provide customer service, and the food acceptable. Xian was very crowded [6 million people tightly packed] but the hotel was nice and the guide had good English. We spent the day at the Terra Cotta Warriors site; another very impressive archaeological finding worth spending time at [but note no photography allowed].

We then went to the site of a prehistoric village used by the Bampo People [Bampos! Meet the Bampos! They're a modern Stone-Age family!] Not much else to do in Xian but see the multicultural dance show, which was heavily promoted by the hotel and guide. We chose [for better or for worse] to not have dinner at the show, which was quite interesting. This was also our introduction to Chinese taxi-drivers.

I have no intentions of casting cultural aspersions, but the Chinese drive...differently... than we do. They do not recognize the markings that run down the middle of the road; nor do speed limits [either legal or imposed by the laws of physics] seem to exist. The ride in Xian was inexpensive, fast,  and definitely kept us awake. By the way, many taxis keep their lights off at night. We were told that this was to increase fuel economy. Wait a while, it gets worse.

The Shangri-La Golden Flower Hotel in Xian was very nice, with good Chinese food [although their version of hamburger in the restaurant was certainly creative]. The next day we flew to Guilin, the only small town by Western standards we visited.

The Guilin Sheraton provided a beautiful lobby, interesting restaurants, and a river view. It is true that Guilin is more touristy than other towns on the Li river such as Yangshou, but we didn't find this bothersome as long as we ignored the street people trying to sell us tours. The cruise down the Li through the famous gorge took about 8 hours; we met some very nice people and the meal cooked on board was certainly interesting, although Judy is still noting that I didn't detect the distinct flavor of water buffalo ["It's beef, go ahead and eat it"].

We were a bit perturbed by the behavior of the tourists vis-à-vis the subsistence level peasants along the shore. There was one stretch where boys were waiting on the shore. All the [American] tourists threw coins and took pictures of the poor kids diving to get the money. Perhaps I'm overly sensitive but I REALLY thought that was obnoxious. On the other hand, there were plenty of fishermen with their fish-diving birds waiting at the dock with small-print signs noting the charge for photos, so I guess it cuts both ways.

Anyway, there was a 1 hour drive back to Guilin. A one lane road. Construction. Trucks. Our driver was averaging about 80 miles per hour. Dodging around traffic, cutting back in at the last minute. At one point he was pulled over by a policeman for speeding. We had heard about the Chinese law-enforcement officials and how you don't mess with them. He got into a fight with the cop, and then got back in the car and drove some more. We were practically kissing the ground when we got back to the hotel. We walked around the block a few times and found a shop selling baby stuff including strollers.

Next morning we packed up and were picked up to go to the airport to go to Shanghai. Guess what? Same driver from the day before. When he got on the freeway to the airport, he reached over and put on his safety belt. This got us thinking: what was about to happen that would frighten this man? The remainder of the trip to the airport is a blur, marked mostly by the desire to atone for my sins real fast. Again, the flight was very good and we were met by a guide in the Shanghai airport.

Shanghai Surprise

Shanghai is probably the most Western of the cities we visited except for Hong Kong. We felt very comfortable there, except for trying to cross the streets. We started off staying at the JC Mandarin on Nanjing Lu [the big shopping street] across from the Shanghai Center. This was important for several reasons. First of all, we were within comfortable walking distance to Renmin Park and the cultural center of the city, and a long walk to the Bund on the riverfront. Secondly shopping was available, including Japanese and Chinese department stores [got an umbrella stroller for about the same as in the States but without having to have carried it]. Thirdly, the Shanghai Center was where the Jewish group met, and we only had to cross the street to meet with them Friday night. Fourthly, the Shanghai Center is the expatriate hang-out, meaning western style grocery store but more importantly the Hard Rock and a Tony Roma's. Western beef! Recognizable food! Obnoxious arrogant American teenagers! Just like being home.

Anyway, we took the standard tour, seeing the big market, the Mandarin Garden, the Bund, the Shanghai Museum, and the Children's Palace. The last was very interesting, what with Judy being a teacher. All the truisms they use here in the States, such as "no kid can sit still for that long," "you have to entertain them," and "kids just won't behave" don't seem to apply there. Large classes, well behaved. We got the proof on video. The Palace is in the old Kadoori mansion, home of one of the old Jewish families that did business in Shanghai before the war. Our guide made sure we saw the old British sign on the Bund park forbidding dogs and Chinese. Dinner at the Hard Rock, real burgers.

The rest of our touring time in Shanghai was on our own. We took in a Buddhist temple [several BMW's parked in the monks' spaces; we didn't ask...], visited the old Jewish Ghetto area from the Japanese occupation [their buddies the Germans asked them to take care of a few loose ends, like 20,000 Jewish refugees; the Japanese were relatively humane and only required living in a prescribed area; German-style shower facilities were NOT installed, thank goodness]. We found the old Ohel Moshe synagogue, where Mr. Wang is the curator. He's about 75 and worked for the synagogue before the war; he ran supplies into the ghetto and now maintains the museum. We got a 30 minute interview with him on tape.

Friday night we had services and ate dinner with the local Jewish group, all of whom were Orthodox. They met in the Rabbi's apartment because a neighbor had threatened to turn them in to the government if they continued to do that religion thing in the public room on their floor. Everyone decided to go underground and keep a low profile until they knew their legal and practical rights on the matter. It was a nice home-cooked meal, interesting conversation, and an experience that truly made us appreciate what we've got here in the good old US of A.

On the weekend we crossed the river and went up the Oriental Pearl tower, a wonderful way to view the area. Unless you have difficulty with heights, and couldn't get close to the window due to overwhelming panic attacks; that's why all the pictures from up there are taken with Judy's camera. She took the video camera, too, and got footage of the river traffic.

Monday we relocated to the Peace Hotel on the Bund to join the adoption group. Our coordinator, met us at the desk and made sure we got checked in and introduced to the other two couples: George and Carolyn from Annapolis, and Rusty and Cheryl from Wilmington. We ate dinner at a western restaurant. A bit of camera work that night from the top of that historic beautiful hotel, then an early night. Tomorrow would be showtime!

Babinator 2: Judgment Day

After a wonderful Chinese breakfast the next morning we took cabs to the train station, an island of chaos in a relatively organized city. Eventually we and our bags were on the train, and three hours later we pulled into the station in Nanjing.

We were led across the parking lot towards two vans. We were told that those vans were from the orphanage, and I pointed at the closer vehicle and made one of the great philosophical observations of my career: "Thars babies in that there van!"

Sure enough, there were three infants in the van. We recognized our Pan Pan immediately, as she looked like her referral picture. Judy took her as I got the camera going. I was concerned that this would be an overwhelmingly emotional moment. It was, but Judy was a marvel. She immediately started talking to Pan Pan, doing some quick developmental

checks, but mostly comforting her and getting her to smile. Tears came later. I got my turn in a moment and got to do the daddy thing. Emma and April were given to their parents, and we climbed on the van for some bonding.

We went first to the local hotel. We didn't check in [although we would be staying there on our return to Nanjing in a few days] but got the chance to practice changing diapers and giving formula before the two hour drive to Yangzhou. Pan Pan [we didn't start calling her Hannah for a few days to reduce the transitional difficulties] immediately tried to lose her socks but otherwise did well. We couldn't get her to drink at that time, not learning until later that the babies are used to formula boiling hot.

Before leaving town, we went to a local government office to pay fees, do an interview, and process paperwork. This was intimidating at first, but they were really very nice. We then piled back into the van and headed to Yangzhou, checking into the Garden Hotel. First item of business there was to get distilled water for mixing formula; then we

went to the notary for more paperwork.

Hannah [I'll use this name from this point on] slept well that first night but developed a cough and fever to 103 the next day. Well, we were panicked. As I tell Judy frequently, I can take care of adults with my eyes closed, but "I don't know nothing about birthin' no babies." Fortunately Cheryl is a family practitioner with pediatric experience and had brought her tools. She checked Hannah out and thought it was just a virus. We gave her [Hannah that is] Tylenol and Dimetapp, and she seemed to do a little better. I must admit that she was under the weather most of the time in China, and didn't open up and start socializing like the extremely outgoing baby that she is until she got home to Richmond. We told the coordinator that the baby was sick, and she asked us if we wanted to take her back to the orphanage. After we recovered from the shock, she explained that she meant that there was a doctor there.

That's why Judy and Hannah missed out on the Yangzhou sightseeing; it was a little cool and rainy, and we didn't want to make things harder on the child. We did take her across the street to Chinese Price Club where we stocked up on formula and baby food. Everything but bottles and liners were available in this small village of 500,000.

Next day we visited the orphanage, which I understand to be a rare privilege. The grounds were beautiful, the caretakers very caring, and we can understand why the children acted as if they were very much loved. After some paperwork we exchanged "gifts;" they got cash and we got chops, certificates, and Yangzhou brochures.

Back at the government offices, we had one last interview and then a beautiful ceremony where we put up our hands [and yes, the pictures confirm that I unconsciously did the Spock salute] and swore to love our babies and never abandon them. Having done this, we were informed that the babies were now ours as far as the People's Republic was concerned. I will admit to getting a bit misty-eyed at the time. If they want to take away my membership in the Macho Club, so be it.

Bringing Up Baby

We got to do more sightseeing in Yangzhou, which as I said Judy and Hannah missed due to being under the weather. There's a very pretty park with a lake, bridges, and a copy of the White Pagoda of Beijing. Then we went to a roadside toy market where we could get all sorts of Disney or Pooh products [which are undoubtedly made there, but I wondered about licensure and piracy]. Got Hannah a panda, or a pan-panda as we called it.

We returned to Nanjing to the Grand Hotel for the next couple of days. This actually turned out to be one of the nicest hotels we stayed in in the PRC. Not only were there multiple high quality restaurants [don't ask about the cream of bullfrog soup at the lunch buffet, though] but the room had a continuous water boiler and a pressurized spigot in the sink marked "sterilized, suitable for drinking." Out came the toothbrushes! We also noted a two-story statue of Santa Clause just outside the hotel door. Still can't figure out why. One of the people in our group asked our facilitator and her husband if this represented "Santa Mao;" after looking around the room nervously and whispering "santa mao?" a few times, they cracked up...Halloween came, and we hauled out the pumpkin costume we'd brought for Hannah. So cute you could just die.

The big sightseeing here was a large park containing the Sun Yatzen Mausoleum, several hundred steps up to the top of a local mountain...very impressive. Hannah was up for this and enjoyed the climb more than I did [although after the Wall this was a bit of a cakewalk]. No photos were allowed inside the building, but we got a nice view from the surrounding gardens. There was a walkway lined with animal carvings in another part of the park...at this point it all started to blend together again. Two days of R & R in Nanjing, and we headed to the White Swan. Again, a pleasant flight, although we said goodbye to Lifeng at the airport, as he had to return to Beijing.

Big Trouble in Little China

The White Swan was certainly everything we had been led to believe [although the pizza took some time to find]. We checked in, got settled, and immediately headed across the street to buy water/soda. George and I noticed a big crowd blocking access to a shop next to the water stand; this consisted almost entirely of western couples and oriental babies. It was a strange feeling to finally meet numberless hordes of people at the same point we were.

The next morning the coordinator got us going early, and took us to the same shop. With the crowds of adopters not in the way, we could see that this was the photo shop, and our daughters' photos were taken in short order. We then hiked up the block and over to the medical clinic for the examination, which took place in two stages: first the "cognitive" doctor, who looked the child over, listened to heart and lungs, weighed, and measured. It was nice to be able to watch and see that the measurements were done in a reasonable and reliable fashion, and that the examination was what we would expect over here. Then the "surgical" exam was done, by a different doctor with one of those Dr. Kildare thingies on her head, with a mirror and a light that I have never been able to figure out what they do. In any case, she looked in ears and eyes and checked reflexes and hearing [Judy appreciated that]. Paperwork was performed and we were off for the rest of the afternoon.

We all kinda split up at that point, and Judy, Hannah, and I left the island and looked for a department store. We of course took the route that required us to cross two freeway exits carrying the baby; found a few items like a teething ring and managed to find a quieter way back that didn't add any more grey hairs to my "Chinese Street Crossing" collection.

After a leisurely breakfast looking over the Pearl River the next morning, we headed over to the Consulate for our interview. This was a little intimidating, especially after we found that we had missed a typo in our paperwork from Yangzhou. I mean really, Judith and Juditn look fairly close on paper. But Anli ran it down to a notary office for a re-translation [which cost a little, but had to be done]. Eventually the paperwork was done and we were off until the next afternoon. That night we all went for White Swan pizza [which, to tell the truth, is more noteworthy for the novelty value than the actual pizza-osity].

One of the nice things about traveling in a smaller group is that you get to know each other a bit. That last night in Guangzhou we ate in the White Swan Cantonese restaurant, which was just awesome. We all gathered in the garden lobby to take group pictures, and got a little misty again. There was quite a bit of fuss trying to pre-check our bags at the hotel airport desk, as the computer was down. We eventually all decided to do it the old-fashioned way, at the airport.

Return of the Babi

The next morning, we all bundled up and headed to the airport, where we all were booked on the 10:00 AM flight. After a short flight to Hong Kong, we said goodbye to Rusty, Cheryl, and April who were making a connection. We bade farewell to the Shenks a few minutes later; they were spending the night in Hong Kong, but in a different part of town.

We had called ahead to our hotel [the Regent] the night before, and arranged an airport pickup. Before I go any farther, let me point out that the Regent was recommended by our travel agent as a "not the most expensive hotel in town, but a nice treat and the most beautiful hotel in the world." Having stayed in 4 star [government rating] hotels across China, we were not prepared for a Hong Kong [Michelin] 5 star hotel.

The airport guide took us to the limo pickup site, where the Mercedes awaited us. The driver gave us hot towels to clean off with as he drove into town. The Hotel is on the Kowloon waterfront walking distance to everything of interest. We were let off in front of the lobby, where our luggage was immediately taken into custody. A suit met us, said "Are you the Harrows? We've been expecting you." We were introduced to another suit who was our customer satisfaction representative. He told us that our room had been upgraded to a harbor view, and took us up to show us around.

Oh. My. God.

The room's wall was one solid window looking over harbor to Hong Kong Central. The room was huge, and had an American style electrical outlet in the desk. [BANG camera charger plugged in.] Where's the hot water heater? "No heater, sir. If you need hot water, just press any of these buttons and a butler will bring you a carafe."

I won't dwell on the hotel and it's amenities much more; we were very lucky to be there in that situation for one night, but I will admit that it was well worth it for our last night in Asia before bringing our daughter home.

After walking around the harbor and taking the Star Ferry, we packed it in; Judy and Hannah were both a bit fatigued, and we had a big day ahead of us. Ate in the "coffee shop" [actually an elegant cafe overlooking the harbor] the next morning and discovered an interesting thing: Hong Kong does not require handicap access. We discovered this via taking the stroller with us to breakfast. The only way into the restaurant was via a spiral staircase. On leaving, we asked if there was an elevator. There was, but we had to go through the kitchen, the maintenance area, and the loading dock to get to it. Be warned.

We packed up and said goodbye to elegant travel; climbed into the limo for the long trip home. The Hong Kong airport is reasonably fast and efficient, compared to the old Kai Tak [although I will miss the approach down an avenue looking out the plane into people's windows]. Cathay Pacific was wonderful, and the [economy class] staff were very helpful. We got a bulkhead seat and bassinet, and did not feel that cramped for the flight. One attendant asked us lots of questions, as she said she was considering adoption herself. Another [Chinese] girl asked if we were taking this baby to America. When we said yes, she replied "Thank you." We got a big warm fuzzy from that.

We made it to Tokyo and headed for the American Lounge [thank goodness for those business class tickets!] We took full advantage of the facilities, including food, rest rooms [but not showers] during our 4 hour layover. Eventually we got loaded into the business class cabin [again a bulkhead with bassinet, and very helpful and solicitous staff]. Seattle came and went in a blur, and we got onto the USAir flight to Philly and Richmond. Even though it was first class, we did not get the same warm feeling as we did on the international flights. We got seats in the back, were told to put the baby on our laps, and had trouble getting the staff to give us hot water for formula. Anyone else get better service abroad than here in the good ol' U.S. of A.?

Be that as it may. We eventually pulled into Richmond, and were met at the airport by Judy's parents and a small group of friends. Nothing like someone to get the bags and help you after a 30 hour trip, not to mention the hugs and tears.

Well, that's the story. Forgive me if it doesn't go into as emotional depth as some others; I don't do well with putting the maudlin stuff in writing, and in any case some of it is very personal; those of you who have been will know what I mean, and those waiting will find out. I hope that somewhere in this is help for those whose children still await; if one can dedicate a series of e-mails, I dedicate this to those who have the strength and courage to withstand this process and to the children who find a happy home with them.

Arthur, Judy, and Hannah Harrow

February, 1999

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