When making our decision to adopt we were faced with so many options and had to make important decisions and choices. We knew early on in the process that we wanted to adopt an international child, but the hardest choice was from where? Russia, China, Latin America or South America were all possibilities.
We wanted an infant who would be under the age of one when we brought him/her home. The sex of the baby was not as important to us, although the idea of a son became very appealing during the process. The biggest requirement was to have a child who was healthy, both emotionally and physically. We spent a great deal of time researching countries and the children who were available for adoption in those countries. It was during this time that we came across Cradle of Hope and their Guatemalan Program. As we read through their literature we were pleased to see that the children were brought home at a very young age and were cared for in foster homes. This was the first program we read about that had foster care. We had always assumed that our child would be living in an orphanage or baby house. We were pleased to learn that infant boys were readily available for adoption. We were excited. It was everything we were looking for! We felt that an infant living in a foster home had to be receiving the individual attention, care and love that would lead to numerous physical and emotional health benefits.
We applied to Cradle of Hope’s Guatemalan Program on March 1, 1999. We received our referral 10 days later--a baby boy born December 31, 1998. We traveled to Guatemala September 18, 1999 to bring our son, Jonathan Patrick Campbell, home.
We will never forget the day Jonathan and his foster mom, Gilma, came to our hotel in Guatemala. Gilma was holding Jonathan when we first saw him. Before any words could be spoken, there were instant tears in all the adults’ eyes. Jonathan was laughing. When we put our arms out to Jonathan he came right to us. It melted our hearts. Our bonding processes had begun.
Using our limited Spanish and with the help of the translator/coordinator, we spent the next several hours talking with Gilma getting to understand Jonathan’s routine, and his likes and dislikes. We also got to understand what his life was like and what he had experienced in the eight months before joining our family. Gilma shared stories with us about Jonathan. She told us how he interacted with her biological children, nieces and nephews. As is common in many Guatemalan families, Jonathan had been living with many extended family members in the same house. This is an affordable way to obtain more spacious living accommodations and provide the children with the attention they need.
The time Jonathan spent with Gilma was priceless to us and we are sure that it will become very important to him as he grows older and we explain his adoption story to him. We knew how much Gilma loved Jonathan. We saw how affectionately she held and feed him and how positively Jonathan reacted and interacted with her. Yet, Jonathan was curious about us and was very willing to let us hold and feed him. It was obvious that this was a very sad day for her, yet she was so excited for Jonathan and us. Being Jonathan’s foster mom was not just a job to her, she loved Jonathan like one of her own children. She had taken a personal interest in his well being. As our visit was coming to an end, Jonathan had fallen asleep in Gilma’s arms. She gave him to us along with a big hug and left. We wondered if this woman would ever understand what an important part of our lives she had become. More importantly right then, we wondered what would happen when our son woke up and saw two sets of strange eyes staring at his every move.
The rest of our trip went very smooth and were happy to arrive home. Once we were home, we started to learn about Jonathan and his personality. It was then that the benefits of Jonathan having lived in a foster home became very evident.
Our first day home we visited the pediatrician. She noted that Jonathan was very healthy, well nourished, up-to-date on his vaccinations and obviously had been well cared for. She saw no developmental delays and thought Jonathan was doing very well at age appropriate tasks. She was pleased to see how happy and outgoing Jonathan was. The drastic changes in his life over the past few days did not seem to be affecting him. She saw no signs of depression or separation anxieties. She commented that if she did not know better, she would have thought he had always been with us. We were grateful for his good health and were thankful for how much care Gilma had given our son.
As expected the first few days home we were mobbed with visitors. Not to mention that the three of us attended a family wedding just four days after arriving back in the U.S. Jonathan was hugged, kissed and squeezed by many new people. With each visitor he smiled and laughed and let everyone pick him up. He showed no signs of being afraid, but instead was curious. His personality of a very easygoing, happy child was coming through. Having lived in a foster home with many adults and children, he had become accustomed to being surrounded by many faces and being cared for by many sets of hands.
Knowing that we would both be returning to work in a few weeks we had arranged to visit the day care where Jonathan would be going. We planned to visit 2-3 times during our second week home. At first we would stay and play with Jonathan, and hope to be able to leave him for a while by the last visit. On the first visit it was very clear that Jonathan was thrilled to be with other children. He enjoyed their company, especially those who were older than him and would read to him or bring him toys. He was fascinated by what the other children were doing and wanted to explore his surroundings. Even at this young age he seemed to understand the concept of sharing toys and playing together. We are sure Jonathan related the day care environment to that of his foster home where many children played, ate and spent much time together.
As we write this story Jonathan has been home with us for six months and is currently 15 months old. His emotional and physical development continues to be age appropriate. He is a very happy child with a big smile. The structure, routine, encouragement and love that his foster home provided him has made his transition into are family very easy for all of us. We could not be happier. We will forever be thankful for the care that Jonathan received in his foster home. We strongly recommend that when making decisions about adopting a child that the benefits of foster care weight strongly into the process.
Kelly and Byron Campbell
Trumbull, CT 06611
Bykel@aol.com
April 2000
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